It's All Going South
by Hollyleaf Rockz
Summary: Due to a demonic entity accidentally summoned by a cult, the town of South Park is now ruled by Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Kenny, and Erin, a punk-rocker who lives loud. But is a town without adults all it's cracked up to be?


South Park has pretty much gone to hell. The adults are nowhere to be found and the 4th graders rule. It sounds like paradise, I know. And at first, it was as if Peter Pan finally took us to Neverland, where we could be ourselves, and never grow up.

Our Neverland turned into a nightmare from which we cannot wake up.

I am one of five reasons why South Park is this way, and that is why I'm going to Hell. How did this happen? It started long ago...

Okay! It started 3 weeks ago! Happy?!

"Erin this is the fifth time this week you've been in detention m'kay and I'm sick of having to babysit you for three hours every day m'kay?" Mr. Mackey yelled at me.

"Yes sir. Whatever." I mutter, putting earphones in my ears and turning on some rock music.

My name is Erin Winchester, I'm a fourth grader at South Park Elementary, and this is how a group of five friends: A supportive Everyman, a Jew, a fatass, a kid who mutters swears under his parka, and a music lover with a dead sister caused the apocalypse.

Stan is the Everyman. He knows what he's doing, and everyone else knows it too.

Kyle is the Jew, and the object of the fatass' torture. He hates it, and I don't blame him.

Cartman is the rude fatass who shouldn't have friends but somehow does. He insults everybody and manipulates Budders on a regular basis.

Kenny's words are muffled through his orange parka, but if you're close enough, you'll find that most of what he says are swears and sexual innuendos.

Then there's me, the girl who loves music to death and treasures her friends more than anything. It sounds so vain when I say it. I do love music, and I love my friends, but those are my only good qualities.

I swear all the time. More than most adults do. I say rude things to Cartman, and I often participate in his illegal business scams. Aren't I sweet?

I want detention to be over. A year ago, detention would mean 3 hours to talk to my twin sister Eris. I can't think about her.

Eris was my twin sister, we were inseparable. We got in trouble together, swore together, did our homework. Life was perfect in our own paradise world where none of the evils in South Park existed.

That world ended when she died.

"Stop staring out the window m'kay? Your friends aren't going to save you this time!"

Damn, I hated this guy, and to quote Terrance and Phillip: 'Fuck my ass and call me a bitch.' He was right.

"Thanks for getting me out of detention jerks." I growl, punching Stan lightly on the arm. Me, him, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny were hanging out in Cartman's living room.

"Shut up you bitch! Terrance and Philip is on!" Cartman yelled.

Kyle rolled his eyes, but said nothing.

"Cartman, your friend Kyle's mother is here and she would like to speak to you all."

"Shit." I hiss through gritted teeth. "Pause it! Pause it!" There was a brief scramble for the remote and Kenny paused the show before the first fart joke was spoken.

Kyle's mother stands in front of us, glowering. "Now, you aren't trouble," she begins, "but, recently there have been sights of a cult in the forest, and of any of you are out after dark I'll call your parents and make sure they ground you for a month!"

She glares at me, with my black jacket and fedora, the headphones that hang around my neck. "Also, make sure that you aren't hanging out with... The wrong sort of people."

After she leaves, Cartman turns to Kyle. "Your mom's a bitch dude."

"Shut your fucking mouth Cartman!"

I sigh, casting a look at Stan. Our eyes say the same thing. 'Shoot me.'

"Guys, we should just calm down." Stan snapped. "Maybe organize a new neighborhood game? Or start up The Stick-"

"NOT THE STICK OF TRUTH!" Four angry/alarmed voices shouted at him (though Kenny's was rather muffled)

"Stan, that game almost caused the end of human civilization!" Kyle retorted.

"Well we can't do NOTHING." Cartman complained. Reaching for his bag of Cheesy Poofs. "Ooh! Maybe we could go camping!"

Kenny mumbled something. Either "That's a great idea!" Or "suck my balls shit-eater."

I smile, having the least amount of socially acceptable respect for adults, breaking this stupid rule sounded great. "Well fuck my ass and call me a bitch! That sounds awesome!"

"You're a bitch."

"Shut up or I'll rip your tiny-"

Kyle interrupted "Cartman doesn't have any. My mom will kill us! I can't sneak out of the house! If my parents don't see me Ike will and tell them!"

"Stan? What do you think?" I turn to Stan Marsh, to see him smiling and nodding.

"I like that idea! Come on Kyle where's your sense of adventure?"

-This timeskip is brought to you by Terrance and Phillip!-

"Mom! Dad! I'm going to Kyle's for the night!" I yell to my mom and dad.

"Okay sweetie but be safe!"

"I will!" I step out the door, my sleeping bag, phone, snacks, and handhelds stored in my backpack.

I meet up with Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman near the entrance to the woods.

"Alright you guys, so the plan is to stay in this forest all night. Then come out unharmed the next morning and prove that Kyle's mom is a paranoid bitch." Cartman stated, looking at all of us.

Kyle would have kicked Cartman in the balls for that last part if Stan hadn't held him back.

I chuckle "We'll be fine! It's not like we're going to die!"

As I speak, a bear charges out of the woods and tramples Kenny, before biting his head off and runs back into the wilderness.

"Oh my god! They killed Kenny!" Stan yelled. Pointing to Kenny's bloody remains.

"You bastards!" Kyle shouted, shaking his fist towards the place where the bear vanished.

Looking back, we should have taken the hint and left while we could. Because what happened in the woods that night damned the souls of five children and sealed the fate of the world.

If only we had ran, but we trudged on, eventually finding a clearing and setting out sleeping bags. Cartman pulls out a bag of Cheesy Poofs and starts wolfing them down.

I look up at the sky, the stars shimmering and bright, I smile, picking out one I believed to be my sister.

"Hey! Erin! You need to see this!" Stan called. I turn and walk over, pushing my fedora up so I could see better.

Stan had found a black gem-like stone with a strange red symbol on it.

"It's a Devil's Trap." I say, not knowing how I was able to recognize it. "See the circle around the star? And the Arcane symbols?"

All three of them stared at me, then Cartman broke the silence. "I told you she was a fucking Satanist! She must have told Kyle to kill Jesus!"

"Shut your fucking shit-spitting mouth fatass!"

"Hey! Don't call me fat you fucking Jewish bitch!"

Stan stared at the stars as the three of us brawled, with me and Kyle ganging up in Cartman, though it made little difference. "Why me?" Stan wondered.

"Kyle! Your mom is a b-"

"Shut your god-damn mouth!"

Stan glanced back at us. "WHY ME?!"


End file.
